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Frumpy Mom: My advice about moving to Southern California

June 3, 2026

I’ve been wasting too much time lately reading online questions from people who are planning to move to Southern California. I don’t know why I do this, because I moved here in 1981 and have no plans to ever leave.

So, to avoid any hassles for those of you who are contemplating this move, I’ll summarize everything I’ve learned in the last 45 years:

Yes, you need a car. There’s no point in arguing about that. You’ll lose. People do get around on the bus and the Metro, but it’s slow, tedious and seems designed specifically to punish you for being on foot. Ask my son, Cheetah Boy, who’s gone without a car for various times.

Many years ago, the city of Los Angeles actually had an efficient tram system called the Red Car that went all over the region, but it was run by real estate development companies and fell into disuse after World War II, when people preferred to buy cars and local government prioritized freeway construction over public transit. (Yeah, sorta like now), You can get around more cheaply and quickly on a motorcycle or scooter and park it more easily too, but how much do you value your life and limbs?

Speaking of cars, never leave anything visible in your car except the steering wheel. That’s why God invented trunks and cargo holds. Never leave your wallet or purse in your car, even if they’re not visible. That’s just tempting fate. You probably won’t get ripped off, but if you do, remember this: I told you so.

Things aren’t always as they seem. I lived for years in a tough area in East Hollywood that author Joan Didion would have called a “senseless killing neighborhood.” One night, my friend and I were watching TV together when we heard what sounded like a major gang war going on around the corner. Didn’t seem unlikely. Automatic weapons blasting, tires squealing, the whole bit. We called 911 and reported it. Then went back to the show. Awhile later, we heard the loud mayhem again, and called 911 once more. This time, I demanded to find out what was going on. After waiting for an eternity, someone came on the line and informed me they were shooting a movie around the corner. Of course they were.

A commuter leaves the Metro A Line Sierra Madre Villa station in Pasadena on Monday, Sept. 15, 2025. The light rail line's Azusa to Pomona extension opens on Friday. (Photo by Sarah Reingewirtz, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG) — A commuter leaves the Metro A Line Sierra Madre Villa station in Pasadena on Monday, Sept. 15, 2025. The light rail line’s Azusa to Pomona extension opens on Friday. (Photo by Sarah Reingewirtz, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG)

Don’t ask me where you should live. Holy cow, there are 9 million people here and about a thousand cities and communities with very different characteristics. All I can tell you is that your life will be infinitely better if you don’t have a long commute to work or school. If your job is downtown, aim to live walking distance to a Metro or a Metrolink train station. Having lived all over, I can tell you that settling in a smallish incorporated city like Burbank, Pasadena, Glendale, Long Beach, Fullerton or Irvine can make your life easier, because they’re generally well-run and folks aren’t as flighty, transient and flaky as they are in Los Angeles.

Do not move here without having first secured a job, unless your relative has a McMansion and will let you live there. You also need a reliable car (see above). If you don’t have money, you’ll be pushed into living in sketchy, dirty, crime-ridden neighborhoods. This is not as fun as it sounds. I’ve done it.

No, you’re not going to make a living as an actor or musician. Go home if you possibly can. If you’re obsessed and determined to be poor and miserable, then stay and fight for your place in the sun. I mean, one out of every 10,000 make a living. Especially if your last name is Coppola.

If you have kids, get a list of the best schools in the best school districts and figure out how to get into them. Your life will be so much better. Do keep in mind that some wealthy neighborhoods breed a particularly obnoxious type of entitled kid that you don’t want rubbing off on your little angels.

If you don’t have kids, you’ll be happier in a real (smaller) city with more things to do like bars, restaurants and such than in suburban havens built specifically for families. Pasadena, Long Beach, Seal Beach, Fullerton, Santa Monica and Huntington Beach are a few that come to mind. Basing yourself near a major university means there will be things to do for young, active people like yourself. If you’re gay and want a welcoming atmosphere, consider Laguna Beach, Long Beach or West Hollywood.

Allow yourself twice as long as you expect to drive anywhere in Southern California. Traffic jams are real. Then, you can experience being pleasantly early instead of sweating profusely and panicking while you’re stuck in traffic. I had a friend who always arrived an hour later than she’d predicted, saying “The traffic was terrible.” Hmm.

Jacaranda trees stand in full bloom as a cyclist rides up Grove Avenue besides John Galvin Park in Ontario on Monday, June 17, 2024. (Photo by Will Lester, Inland Valley Daily Bulletin/SCNG)

Never park under a jacaranda tree in May, or any time you can see it’s blooming. There’s a reason that parking space is empty. Those beautiful periwinkle blooms are wonderful to see but sticky and toxic to the paint on your car.

Always read the street signs carefully before you park. Yes, street cleaning is a thing. And so is permit-only parking. And don’t let that meter expire. Some cities have vicious parking enforcement people who sit and wait like lions in the grass.

Never rent a place that doesn’t have outdoor space. I mean, why did you move here?

I hope I have now relieved your mind about making the move. Feel free to email me with any suggestions at mfisher@scng.com. Note: I don’t need diet tips.

Frumpy Mom: My advice about moving to Southern California Orange County Register

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Frumpy Mom: My advice about moving to Southern California

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