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    Frumpy Mom: My travel tips always include a nap
    • April 8, 2026

    By the time you read this, I’ll be cavorting in Costa Rica with my friend Marlita. Luckily for me, we make great travel companions because our vacation styles mesh well together.

    After traveling with at least 187,000 different people since my childhood as an Air Force brat, I now realize how important it is that you and your travel buddy have the same mindset when you go away together.

    Nowadays, in fact, I won’t go on an expensive foreign trip with someone unless I’ve traveled with them at least overnight. I consider this an indispensable fact-finding expedition. That’s when you discover that the friend you lunch with regularly has habits that could drive you mad.

    Awhile back, I went to Guatemala with a friend and her friend who was a genuinely nice person, but had such specific food needs that any time we went to a restaurant, she spent 20 minutes interrogating the waiter before we were allowed to eat. “How was that prepared? Did they use yak oil? Was it from sustainable yaks? How often did they change it? Could they make it with llama milk instead?” You may be shocked to learn that this litany got old really fast.

    I also have to keep from strangling certain travel buddies who just can’t help griping about everything, (unless it’s me, in which case my every complaint is justified.)

    “It’s too hot in here.”

    “It’s too dark in here.”

    “It’s too cold in here.”

    “It’s too loud in here. I said “IT’S TOO LOUD IN HERE.”

    “There aren’t any robes or slippers in the closet.”

    “No one speaks English in this country.”

    “I can’t get an appointment at the spa until tomorrow.”

    “I don’t get why you’re cleaning up the room. The maid’s coming in later anyway.”

    “There’s no reason to leave a tip for the housekeeper. She’s getting paid already.”

    Luckily for me, my friend Marlita is easy-going and thoughtful. She also likes to read, and considers a vacation perfect when it includes time to just loll around reading a book. She does not consider this a mere time-waster that could be better spent on a relentless force march through the sights.

    When I was younger, I wanted to see everything on the planet, so I scheduled myself relentlessly. This left zero time for serendipity — or just plain relaxing. Now that I’m old as dirt, I would probably skip the Eiffel Tower to take a nap in my comfy hotel bed. It has sheets I didn’t have to wash or change. That makes it a top attraction all on its own, with no extra fees.

    I’m always the trip planner when a group of us go somewhere together, because I used to be a travel agent and I still enjoy researching and planning out the trip in advance.

    Most people don’t, so they’re happy to leave it to me, although I do consult with them on big or potentially expensive decisions.

    The last time I planned a trip for several friends to share, I left time in the itinerary for an afternoon nap, even though I worried my friends might make fun of me, or find it annoying. Greatly to my surprise, the opposite was true. At some point, most everyone said to me, “I’m so excited about the naps!” I guess that’s what happens with you travel with people your own age.

    Budget is one area where it’s vital that you all get on the same page. You need to agree and compromise if necessary before you make any reservations, so no one gets sticker shock later, or complains that you stuck them in a hellhole just because it’s cheap. (I’ve done this. I don’t recommend it.)

    If my few rich friends (tragically, I don’t have that many but feel free to join their ranks) want to stay in a posh place, I have no problem with that — as long as they’re paying. Otherwise, we’ll be in my kind of place — a comfortable but affordable guesthouse, hotel or hostel.

    My regular travel companions, whom I call “the usual suspects,” also know they are free to go off on their own whenever they want. It raises my blood pressure to be with someone who wants to be attached to you like Velcro every minute of the day. This means I feel obliged to go to the tree frog farm because you want to go, even though I couldn’t care less about the little croakers.

    And sometimes you just have to say no. “No, I’m absolutely not spending my last day in London standing in line to get into the Hard Rock Cafe. We have a Hard Rock Cafe in Los Angeles. Why would I waste an entire afternoon there?” This actually happened to me and I still shake my head in wonderment.

    It’s possible, in case you didn’t know, to go see three major plays and musicals a day in London if you go to the early matinee, the late matinee and the evening performance. I used to do it, back when I was weird and obsessed. (OK, I know.) It can also be cheap, if you buy all the tickets at the half-price ticket booth in Leicester Square. But I don’t expect you to be crazy enough to want to go with me. Go to the Hard Rock, or stay at the hotel and read a book. I’ll catch up with you later.

     

     

    ​ Orange County Register 

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